Singaporean Man Makes Out With An Oyster, Ended In Hospital After Getting His Thing Severely Sliced

A guy almost lost his m@nhood after making love with an oyster in order to ease his need.

No doubt, the inside of an oyster resembles a female genitalia.

It is soft, pink, sticky and has a perfect size slit where a male member can find relief.

Given its close resemblance to a v@gina, the 26-year-old Singaporean guy opted to relieve himself after seeing a photo of an oyster.

He said, “I mean, it looks a lot better than some real v@ginas that I’ve seen.”

The extremely aroused man from Hougang hurriedly went to a seafood market and bought the best oyster available.

“I asked the vendor to get me the biggest one. He was a bit confused that I only wanted to buy just the one oyster, but I said I only needed one,” he said.

Eager to put his plan into action, he first allowed the oyster to cool down to room temperature. Then he put some lube on his thing and turned on the music to further set the mood. The oyster he bought was big enough for his tool.

Everything was going well at first, he was able to spear into its soft sticky depths.

He said, “The oyster that I purchased looked really inviting. When it was warm enough, I just slipped right in and started pumping.”

Fascinated with the pleasure he gets, he becomes more excited forgets the razor-sharp jagged shell that comes along with the oyster.

“I just lost control. I knew I should have been more careful because the shell was razor sharp,” he explains.

Just a few thrusts in reaching the climax, he made a wrong move in preparation for the big blow and slices the underside of his tool instead.

“For a second I was frozen in panic. Then when the blood started gushing out, I yelled in pain before fainting.”

Fortunately, his neighbors broke into his apartment after hearing him crying out in pain. They thought he was being attacked but was left in absolute shock after seeing blooded oyster and the lube.

He wakes up in a hospital with a severe penile injury which needed 67 stitches for the laceration caused by the sharp shell.

Still, the silly guy deems himself lucky despite the horribly humiliating experience.

“If I’d caught it on a different angle, I could have severed it completely.”

However, he hopes that his bloody story will serve as a warning to men out there wanting to satisfy their lustful needs with other methods such as an oyster.

He said, “While I will admit it felt pretty good, the risk of losing your pen*s is just not worth it. If I’d been a bit smarter, I would’ve taken the oyster out of the shell first.”